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Old 12-23-2004, 09:45 AM   #1 (permalink)
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A simple, 16-step procedure to get the healthy and algae-free planted aquarium you have always wanted:

1) Start with a basic aquarium setup recommended by your local fish store for all freshwater aquariums. Add inexpensive stem plants. Watch them die. Repeat. (Repeat. Repeat...)

2) The crypts at the store are cool. Ignore the fish store clerk's advice and buy some anyway. Watch them struggle but somehow survive. Repeat using anubias, moss and ferns. Smile. Buy more basic setups.

3) Meet Mr. Blue Green Algae and Mr. Black Brush Algae. Become close friends.

No step 4, sorry

5) Find iron fertilizer at the local fish store and experiment. Discover moderately better plant growth, but throw the empty bottle away when it runs out. Do not replace.

6) Meet Mr. Green Spot Algae, who seems very fond of your anubias.

7) Buy a book about aquarium plants. Find out that there are many different aquarium plants.

Revisit the local fish store and buy a variety of sword plants and stems. Put them in your tank and watch them die. Repeat as needed.

9) Revisit your book about aquarium plants. Find out that light is good. Try incandescent lights (cook fish), try fluorescent lights, try sunlight. Fluorescent lights and sunlight work. Sort of.

10) Meet Mr. Hair Algae. Mr. Beard Algae and Mr. Staghorn Algae are close behind.

11) Buy a new plant book. Study. Find articles. Study. Grok the way of the plant.

Now Grasshopper, many paths diverge. Whichever route you take, feel secure in the knowledge that you will be accompanied in your travels by your good friend, Mr. Green Water.

12) Discover one or more of; soil, comprehensive fertilizers, Oscars (forget plants).

No step 13, sorry

14) Add as needed one or more of; more patience, CO2, more light, sea salt (forget plants)

15) If needed, make your peace with macro-nutrient fertilizers.

16) Discover balance and stability.

17) Come to a better understanding of your goals and find security despite the departure of many friends who have long accompanied you; Mr. Blue Green Algae, Mr. Black Brush Algae and those who followed.

1 Finally, develop a jaded attitude toward cookbook methods for keeping aquarium plants and toward the (usually helpful and well-intended) self-promoters who author them.


Happy Planting
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Old 12-23-2004, 09:45 AM   #2 (permalink)
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A simple, 16-step procedure to get the healthy and algae-free planted aquarium you have always wanted:

1) Start with a basic aquarium setup recommended by your local fish store for all freshwater aquariums. Add inexpensive stem plants. Watch them die. Repeat. (Repeat. Repeat...)

2) The crypts at the store are cool. Ignore the fish store clerk's advice and buy some anyway. Watch them struggle but somehow survive. Repeat using anubias, moss and ferns. Smile. Buy more basic setups.

3) Meet Mr. Blue Green Algae and Mr. Black Brush Algae. Become close friends.

No step 4, sorry

5) Find iron fertilizer at the local fish store and experiment. Discover moderately better plant growth, but throw the empty bottle away when it runs out. Do not replace.

6) Meet Mr. Green Spot Algae, who seems very fond of your anubias.

7) Buy a book about aquarium plants. Find out that there are many different aquarium plants.

Revisit the local fish store and buy a variety of sword plants and stems. Put them in your tank and watch them die. Repeat as needed.

9) Revisit your book about aquarium plants. Find out that light is good. Try incandescent lights (cook fish), try fluorescent lights, try sunlight. Fluorescent lights and sunlight work. Sort of.

10) Meet Mr. Hair Algae. Mr. Beard Algae and Mr. Staghorn Algae are close behind.

11) Buy a new plant book. Study. Find articles. Study. Grok the way of the plant.

Now Grasshopper, many paths diverge. Whichever route you take, feel secure in the knowledge that you will be accompanied in your travels by your good friend, Mr. Green Water.

12) Discover one or more of; soil, comprehensive fertilizers, Oscars (forget plants).

No step 13, sorry

14) Add as needed one or more of; more patience, CO2, more light, sea salt (forget plants)

15) If needed, make your peace with macro-nutrient fertilizers.

16) Discover balance and stability.

17) Come to a better understanding of your goals and find security despite the departure of many friends who have long accompanied you; Mr. Blue Green Algae, Mr. Black Brush Algae and those who followed.

1 Finally, develop a jaded attitude toward cookbook methods for keeping aquarium plants and toward the (usually helpful and well-intended) self-promoters who author them.


Happy Planting
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Old 12-23-2004, 02:52 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Did you have a webcam set up at my place?
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Old 12-23-2004, 05:52 PM   #4 (permalink)
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wow, that was horrible lol
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Old 12-23-2004, 08:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Roger, you should put this up on a WEB site and charge people $12 a year to subscribe, you could become a millionare!
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Old 12-25-2004, 10:40 AM   #6 (permalink)
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No, "Meet Mr. DIY Yeast CO2. Meet Mr. Used Too Much Yeast In The Bottle"?
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Old 12-25-2004, 12:49 PM   #7 (permalink)
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by McKee:
No, "Meet Mr. DIY Yeast CO2. Meet Mr. Used Too Much Yeast In The Bottle"? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Sure, if you want. Now we have the 17-step McKee method for a successful planted tank


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Old 12-25-2004, 04:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
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step 18, scrap it and start all over
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Old 12-25-2004, 06:41 PM   #9 (permalink)
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<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Robert H:
Roger, you should put this up on a WEB site and charge people $12 a year to subscribe, you could become a millionare!
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>



19) Wake up and realize most of the garbage on the net on successful algae free tanks ("I have a Mount Kilimanjaro piezoelectric crystal vibrating at 20MHz, depositing exactly 2 molecules of GREEN BUTT-KICKY-MICKEY-MOUSEY every 5 picoseconds and I HAVE NO MORE NOSTRIL-HAIR ALGAE!!!!"), usually boils down to manual removal of algae during water changes.
Seriously, the stuff that you get in the message boards, however good natured and definitely well-meaning, is usually a whole load of innocent BS....
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Old 12-26-2004, 09:30 AM   #10 (permalink)
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A vegetative walkabout of sorts.

True. All of it.
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