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There was a sea scout camp near a beach where the porpoises were so friendly they swam into shore at dinner time. The chef used to announce dinner by yelling: "Dinner! For all in tents...and porpoises."
 

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Son of a Beech

One of my favorites:

Two tall trees are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. One tree says to the other, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The other says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling. The tall tree says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."
 

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Confucius say,


"Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone."

"Man who run in front of car get tired."

"Man who run behind car get exhausted."

"Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day."

"Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife

upright organ."

"Man with one chopstick go hungry."

"Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails."

"Man who eat many prun! es get good run for money."

"Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk."

"Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best

thing on earth."

"War does not determine who is right, war determine who

is left."

"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat

house."

"Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night."

"It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to

fill it."

"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there."

"Man who stand on ! toilet is high on pot".

"Man who live in glass house should change clothes in

basement."

"Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs."

'Man who fart in church sit in own pew."

"Crowded elevator smell different to midget."
 
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