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i used to keep 3 spot gourami's, and i had 1 male lavender, 2 female blues, and 1 gold female. the male loved to chase the females, and having three helped spread his aggression out. the gold female was bigger than the blues, and she would try to bully the others, but the male would step in and chase her around. i kept them with tiger barbs and kuhli loaches for over a year, and they were all healthy. i think it may just be a gourami trait. try adding some females to the tank.
 
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