The Hillbilly Homebrew Hour

63982 Views 205 Replies 51 Participants Last post by TarantulaGuy, Dec 21, 2011

intothenew

Discussion Starter · Dec 23, 2008

3

Well, maybe I lied just a little. This is certainly going to take more than an hour, it may best be described as a series. Welcome to this weeks episode.

To set things up, I have been without a tank for almost twenty years. College, raising three children, a couple of residence changes, and a change in career helped keep me busy. But in the last two years, I have acquired and set up two tanks. One, a 29g at home. And two, a 55g in my office. Both are/were planted. The 55 still stands in my office, but I put the 29 up for adoption. That brings us to the real subject of this thread.

You see Martha(who has some strange affinity for me) agreed, in what she certainly looks back on as a temporary lapse of sanity, to allow a larger tank in the house. "You can have it if it will fit right there", she said. I dwelled on the possibilities for a few days, and decided that "Ol Monday" and I could transform our allotted space into 125g of pure paradise.

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to Ol Monday.

We used to have an intimate relationship, but not so much anymore. I divorced her for a pencil shortly after college. We still have a friendly relationship, and she agrees to help with demolition and a small amount of construction.

In what I thought was an impressive strategical move, I begin while Martha was away at a baby shower. I'll have this roughed out and she will be able to better understand the big scheme of things much better when she returns. Well, we had a few delays during this phase, my pencil boy biceps not being the least.

I get the paneling down.

And I put Ol Monday to work on this barrier between us and the glory of 125g of pure paradise. Martha walks in to find this.

And with a notable quiver in her voice exclaims, "Oh my God, what have you done to my house?"

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21 - 40 of 206 Posts

Tex Gal

· #21 · Dec 30, 2008

Jerp - I have looked at the glass in my UV after months and there was no slime. I don't know what to tell you. I was surprised myself. Perhaps it's the heat?...

I run in and the CO2 reactor in line with a mag drive 9.5 which pushes 950gph. It's under the tank so that limits it some and there are right degree turns which also cuts down on the 950gph. My UV is an Emperor Aquatics 25 watt smart UV Sterilizer. I got it from FishtTanksDirect.com. That was a year ago. Seems to still be working fine. I wonder if it's time for a new bulb, since it's a fluorescent? Here is the link: http://www.fishtanksdirect.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=245

intothenew

Discussion Starter · #22 · Dec 30, 2008

This is good, this is real good. First, JERP makes a funny. In this particular instance, I am ecstatic that pics were withheld.

JERP said:
Aquarium slime has a high SPF, try it at the beach someday.

Then, Tex Gal lays a chart on me.

It just doesn't get any better than this. I've got some cipherin' to do before I respond, after I clean up my keyboard.

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niko

· #23 · Dec 30, 2008

I may have to switch to aquarium slime.

Keep it going!

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Bert H

· #24 · Dec 30, 2008

You know I passed by this title twice before I clicked on it. I should have clicked on it the first time I saw it.

I'm in!

MasterMerlin

· #25 · Dec 30, 2008

With a title like this, I just had to stop by. After the read I'm definitely in for the ride!!!

Well since no one else has posed a guess at the fish, I'll throw out the obvious. Is the fish Nemo? Sorry couldn't resist the obvious. Can I guess more than once?

intothenew

Discussion Starter · #26 · Dec 30, 2008

niko said:
I may have to switch to aquarium slime.

Where do you shop for two different cup sizes?

intothenew

Discussion Starter · #27 · Dec 30, 2008

Bert H said:
You know I passed by this title twice before I clicked on it. I should have clicked on it the first time I saw it. I'm in!

I'm glad you joined us. Other possible titles were:

"Martha does APC", We thought that one a bit racy for a family show.

"The High Tech ******* Hour", Sounded and smelled too much like a "Gunsmoke and Horsepoop" song.

"The Adventures of a Deranged Lunatic", A bit too honest, we're trying to be somewhat subliminal.

intothenew

Discussion Starter · #28 · Dec 30, 2008

MasterMerlin said:
Well since no one else has posed a guess at the fish, I'll throw out the obvious. Is the fish Nemo?

Welcome MasterMerlin. I want you to know that you had the producers almost fist-to-cuff with that answer.

You see, it was the screenwriter's intent that you circle the particular fish and submit. There are other artists renditions on the page. After review of the question as posed, and making the screenwriters work for free today, they asked Martha just what IT was. "It's a fish you dummies", she replied. So, your answer of:

MasterMerlin said:
fish

is acceptable.

I would like to introduce you to this weeks sponsor, Sandlick Aerospace. Your prize is a fresh development, the "SA-101".

This bird is loaded with Excel bombs that can be programmed to detonate at any depth. It gets incredible fuel mileage and is simple to fly. Future developments are to include pump jamming technology for a more localized attack.

Enjoy, and let us know how she does.

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MasterMerlin

· #29 · Dec 30, 2008

OOPS!!!! I was actually referring to the one that had the "bubbles" coming from it. Sorry. I never thought to actually circle the fish, my brain was only hitting on four cylinders as I was on my first cup of java. As far as the Excel bombs, I could use a few since I've had a slight bloom of BBA.

I'll be sure to post the effectiveness of the bombs. If you could add a "keep the pump working" as opposed to jamming the pump that would do better since my micron filter is stopped up and not working at the present time. Hopefully Santa will soon deliver the new supply.

intothenew

Discussion Starter · #30 · Dec 31, 2008

PRJCT92EH2 said:
subscribed!

Thanks, I just hope you don't ask for your money back. Production costs are about to sky rocket.

Tex Gal

· #31 · Dec 31, 2008

Alotta talk - no action. I wanna see a px of that wall and what you've done to it since Martha's been back. I know it's not how you left it with us. Martha wouldn't allow it...

JERP

· #32 · Dec 31, 2008

Tex Gal,
You have more experience than me with UV's. I did my research, trusted the advice, and followed it. If the bulb stays clean then you shouldn't have a problem.

As far as lifespan of the bulb goes. A UV bulb does not burn out for several years, it just puts out less and less UV light until then. You really can't check it visually since Light in the UV spectrum is not visible and the bulb is in a sealed container. The bright blue color of the bulb is more of a byproduct of the UV bulb and really just tells you that it's on. A UV sterilizer is for preventative purposes and is not needed for the daily health of the aquarium. Your aquarium is healthy enough that the UV could even be off and you'd never notice from the results. Your bulb if pretty high powered. I would think a 25W bulb can degrade quite a bit before it stops being useful.

intothenew

Discussion Starter · #33 · Dec 31, 2008

Tex Gal said:
Alotta talk

Sheeesh, I just want to personally greet everybody that stops in. I am certainly going to need their help in episodes to come. I'm shakin' it here boss, we got a special holiday episode coming up.

O, and are you kin to Martha? You sure sound a lot like her.

Tex Gal

· #34 · Dec 31, 2008

JERP said:
Tex Gal,
You have more experience than me with UV's. I did my research, trusted the advice, and followed it. If the bulb stays clean then you shouldn't have a problem.

As far as lifespan of the bulb goes. A UV bulb does not burn out for several years, it just puts out less and less UV light until then. You really can't check it visually since Light in the UV spectrum is not visible and the bulb is in a sealed container. The bright blue color of the bulb is more of a byproduct of the UV bulb and really just tells you that it's on. A UV sterilizer is for preventative purposes and is not needed for the daily health of the aquarium. Your aquarium is healthy enough that the UV could even be off and you'd never notice from the results. Your bulb if pretty high powered. I would think a 25W bulb can degrade quite a bit before it stops being useful.

FYI, I emailed the company and they said you should replace the bulb every year. I guess that means I need a new one. When I change it, that will give a chance to check again for cleanliness.

Looking forward to the holiday episode!

niko

· #35 · Jan 1, 2009

I don't understand why a UV sterilizer must be part of this otherwise wholesome family entertainment. Install the biggest one you can afford, don't turn it on, just have it there to scare the algae away. That's what I do and it works. Ah yes I also don't have light over that tank.

Ok, InToTheNew! Time to hear about the 6" H beam you so generously promised to us on page 1 of this amazing saga!

(The above image is Russian. If you can see it you have been infected by a Russian computer virus. To check try to say "doh-svee-dah-nya", if you can call 911)

--Nikolay

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Analog Kid

· #36 · Jan 1, 2009

Great thread. 6" I Beam...in wall tank install? support for removal of load bearing wall? This sounds interesting. On the UV, definitely get the wiper one. The Bulbs DO get slimy and this does effect the transmission of the UV light. I agree that when things are good in your tank, you will never know why you bought it. However, overdose ferts, feed too much etc. and you will be glad you have it (pea soup killer).

Tex Gal

· #37 · Jan 1, 2009

intothenew said:
Sheeesh, I just want to personally greet everybody that stops in. I am certainly going to need their help in episodes to come. I'm shakin' it here boss, we got a special holiday episode coming up.

O, and are you kin to Martha? You sure sound a lot like her.

Us women folk gotta stick together. Enjoyin' the show! Can hardly wait to see what you come up with next!

intothenew

Discussion Starter · #38 · Jan 1, 2009

2

Psssst, Psssssssst......... Dad, hey Dad.........she's comin'.

A little before I had hoped, it's good we constructed this amazing piece of urban camouflage. Just act natural Sweetpea, maybe we can clean this up before she's on to us.

For any normal human, I still think we could have pulled it off. But, I failed to take into account the amazing powers of perception that Martha commands. She makes a flanking maneuver around our meticulous attempt at diversion, and looks me in the eye just as I set Ol Monday to the floor. I just cannot bring myself to repeat her statement.

After a brief moment of "The Look", she walks off mumbling. Shortly, I hear the banging of plastic buckets and water running in the laundry tub. Sheeew, I think we have escaped a felony charge.

That leads us into today's two part episode:

Laws, Ordinances, and Codes

and

The Big picture

Part one to follow after a short break.

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intothenew

Discussion Starter · #39 · Jan 1, 2009

Laws, Ordinances, and Codes

To proceed with an endeavor such as this, we should certainly review the current judicial system. The bright side here is that there are no misdemeanor charges. The bad side, there are only felony charges and capital punishment the only sentence.

In a felony case, you stand accused immediately, before only one judge, and left to defend yourself. Sentencing is swift. I have lived the terror of a few of these tribunals. Acquittals are obtained on very rare occasions, pardons only after you feel the course fibers of the rope.

Misdemeanors, they just don't exist. At least they don't exist in any formal sense. But, there is a strange phenomenon that happens in some instances of civil disorder. The "Health and Human Services" department take a vacation. Examples include, but are not limited to:

Kitchen: caloric intake goes waaaaay down

Laundry: the skivvy drawer inventory drops dramatically

Family Planning: well, I'll just leave it at that.

Sweetpea, it looks like bologna tonight.

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intothenew

Discussion Starter · #40 · Jan 1, 2009

3

The Big Picture

In what would only be normal in a Marvel comic, Martha enters the laundry room and the creature "The White Tornado " emerges. This thing is unbelievable, it could take down Mr. Clean with 7 of it's 8 arms tied behind it's back. After a flurry of activity, the mound of rubble is reduced to this.

And just as mysteriously as it appeared, the White Tornado vanished into the laundry room and Martha emerges for a complete inventory of the situation.

One fish tank missing: good

Plethora of wires: bad

Dangling den dimmer switch: not of immediate concern, we won't be using that for a couple of days at least

Exposed plumbing from my powder room: bad

Exposed pantry chests: bad

One missing wall: bad, no, very bad

Ok, let's get the guys from design and mechanical in here for an assessment.

One planted tank given up for adoption: but we do get visitation

Plethora of wires: looks like 30amps to ourselves already, and we are only 20 feet from the main

Dangling den dimmer switch: well, sometimes you gotta take one for the team

Exposed plumbing from THE powder room: this is soooo coool, the boys in maintenance will buy us beer for life

Exposed pantry chests: we really didn't know they were back there

One missing wall: no problem, we add a structural beam and replace it with two walls.

Honey(with EXTRA emphasis), step back here and let me explain what they are trying to say.

Look, from YOUR side we will have a framed in wall with only the front of the tank showing. No wires, no plumbing, no smells. Picture it?

From the back side, we enclose it with a closet. Entry door for maintenance, it will be totally enclosed. Picture it?

She ponders the data for a moment, and then pops THE question. How much is this going to c.........

And in the brief period that it takes to get to the inevitable vowel that is to follow, I have the innate ability to slow time. I review specifications and pricing for an incredible list of mandatory mechanical devices, uv, ro, co2, cannisters, mh...........

............ost?

I answer honestly. "I don't know, but we have a lot of stuff laying around that we can use. I'll dig it up and we can look at it."

Her answer again reveals her amazing powers of perception, "Yea.......right."

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